Have been out quite often this week, meeting as many people as I could, those who are still here. That is one real advantage of coming back here for the holidays: although not many people are here, overall you're still more likely to meet more old friends and acquaintances here than abroad. And, just as it is essentially the people that make going elsewhere worthwhile, it is also the people that make coming back worthwhile.
And so it was that I went to the airport to find YS for lunch, because she was working there again. And then, after a trip to Chinatown to buy New Year goodies and enjoy the bustle of the season, went back to Aljunied to meet G, R and J for an evening of food sampling in Geylang, covering good dim sum, great ice kachang and an old favourite: the Y0ng He tau huay place just around the corner at Lorong 27A. And then, yesterday, met up with the old gang: JY, Conan and Liang See. We went for lunch at Pepper Lunch at Lido, and then chatted the afternoon away in the Liat Towers Starbucks, regularly remarking on the profusion of tourist customers that visit that particular branch. And today, met up with LJ, YJ and Liang See again for another lunch at PS.
So, I've quite completed my rounds of old haunts and familiar places, and in the process have caught up with more familiar faces than I'd originally expected. It still strikes me, after all this time, how easy it is to slip back into a particular mode of conversation: sharp, witty, unassuming, uncensored, stimulating, unpretentious, sincere and straightforward. Such is the conversation of long familiarity, sprouting from the rich loam of shared memory and coded gestures referring to inside jokes and unforgettable moments. I remember how I myself had been apprehensive when meeting returning people in years past, wondering how much they may have changed, and how easily we will be able to resume where we had previously left off. And now, looking at things from the other side of four months studying abroad, I see even more clearly how a shared past can form such a strong foundation for continuation that the intervening time is not alienating but enriching, a source of novelty that leavens an old, familiar relationship. It is deeply comforting to think, to discover, and to know that old, cherished things in the past can continue to persist in this new present.
Told Liang See that if it were possible for my whole social circle to come to NYC too, then my life there would be complete. Certainly, I daresay some of the friendships that I have right now will not be duplicated in the years to come. As such, there is no question of moving on from an old social circle to form a new one; it is rather the expansion of an existing circle. But I encounter new people all the time in New York, and certainly some of them also have shown themselves to be kind, dependable, sincere people who are a joy to hang out with: people like K, BY, Ar, As, Je, Ja, WL, YR, G, R, J and the rest. I have been ridiculously lucky on this front. And I do have hopes that many of these friendships will only grow stronger over time. But all the same, I think what I am looking for in these new friends is inevitably modelled after what I have encountered in my old friends.
It has been the case that the old principles of life have remained sound despite being imported to an entirely novel environment: approach everything with no illusions and no expectations, don't begrudge people their good fortune, put yourself where things are likely to happen, make the most difference that you can. And I think in the social realm, too, it will be the case that the old principles remain sound. It is possible that this will turn out to be false, and I only hope that should that be the case, I am flexible enough to adapt the situation as it is. But I hope that the old principles will in fact remain sound.
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Strangely enough, even though Singapore is 70% Chinese, Singapore's Chinatown is actually smaller than NYC's Chinatown. I guess you could argue that, in fact, the whole island is a Chinatown, and that it is equally ridiculous to complain of a small Chinatown in Beijing as in Singapore. But I find it interesting that, as far as the acknowledged geographical reach of the two Chinatowns is concerned, the one in a predominantly Chinese society is smaller than the one in a Western city.
Even so, I was pleasantly surprised to find that Singapore's Chinatown, far from being the slepy, dingy place I remember most vividly from primary-school field trips, is in fact a bustling, lively ethnic district. This was especially the case, given that the Chinese New Year is almost upon us. The streets, alleys and sidewalks were full of shoppers and walkers, and merchants had turned blank walls into kaleidoscopic displays of New Year goodies and decorations. To my utter surprise, even the tacky and touristified faux-classical architecture of restored shophouses and buildings struck me as exciting, being perhaps dignified by the human pressures and flows around and through them.
I had previously remarked on the vibrance of the Chinatowns of New York, Malacca and Penang, and had admired the seemingly spontaneous, effortlessly engaging street life of Taipei and Hong Kong. It was with quite a bit of surprise, then, that I found myself becoming similarly taken by the streets of the Singapore Chinatown. It is possible that my perspective has just been romanticised by my being away for four months, so that home just looks generally better, in the way that confinement on Tekong made me look at Simei with new eyes. And it is likely to be premature to compare Singapore with Hong Kong or Taipei or (heaven forbid!) New York. But I think the life I encountered on the street was genuinely engaging, and surprisingly so. Maybe it has always been there; maybe it is just that I've recently developed a taste for it, or the perceptiveness needed to detect and appreciate it. But no matter the case, I'm glad that I managed to encounter it this time, when I came back.
And another one of those ironies that make Singapore compelling to me: despite the technology and the society bent on developing itself at breakneck speed into everlasting prosperity, traditional things still hold sway. And so it was that I found this crowd of people engrossed in the detailed divinations of Chinese astrologers, who had produced predictions for every aspect of life for every zodiac and posted them up on this board in the middle of the Pearl Centre Shopping Mall. Similar to this moment was one later that night, when we were chatting about school and army and work life in Geylang, enjoying the phenomenal quality and range of food on the North side of Geylang Road while seeing the red-light district gearing up for opening hours on the South side of Geylang Road. It is, after all, not true that Singapore as a society is uninteresting, and neither is it true that we have exhausted all the possibilities of Singapore in our 20-odd years living here. It is just that we have become intimately familiar with how this place works, and have been inculcated with acute cases of envy for the seemingly greener grasses elsewhere.
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And so, I find that, on the verge of leaving, a part of me sincerely wants to stay on. I have completed all that I want to do here at home, and I have seen just about everyone that can be seen. But the main difference between my lives in Singapore and in New York is that here, I am not a stranger, whereas in New York, I join the innumerable ranks of strangers. It is, perhaps, a matter of a sense of belonging, or of acceptance; whereas New York is likely to be socially more accepting of newcomers than Singapore, the thing is that I am already accepted here. That status is a very strong impetus to stay, a power capitalising on a person's inertia or conservatism.
But I know also that my time is called for elsewhere, and the opportunities that are only available abroad have their own power to draw me to them. Will be flying via Heathrow again, and with any luck, will return to London to visit my people in the UK over the spring break in March. First, though, will go with G to Washington DC, to visit a family friend and to check out the capital on the eve of the inauguration. And there is also talk of a trip with As to Boston, not to mention the myriad shows, concerts, exhibitions, festivals (Chinese New Year!) and spectaculars coming up in the next term.
It is time to go back, and I feel that I am, essentially, ready to go back, bearing with me valuable experiences, a heightened sense of humility, and a tempered hope for the coming year. 2009 has started, after all; let it come, but also let everyone be safe. As for the rest of the details, we will take it from there.
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