Remarkable Work

You know, sometimes it is really frustrating trying to argue with people who think they are open-minded enough, and have grown complacent in their positions. No matter how you try to perturb their mindsets, they unflinchingly stick to their guns. And the more concerted your efforts, the closer they draw their defences, until there come a point when defensiveness turns into condescension, and you know that there is no way to make an impression anymore.

I won't elaborate too much on the issue here - it is neither appropriate or useful. But I have to say this: in a school, the students' welfare and growth must be paramount. That is not to say that one has to pander to the kids; no, but it does mean that one must never take a decision that unjustly penalises them in some way. In a school, the students need more protection than the teachers, and teachers who think otherwise give the impression of having something to hide that could call into question their authority to teach. And if you ever need to choose between protecting the school's reputation and protecting the students' interests, then the only ethical choice is clearly to choose the latter. Systems are only as good as they are useful; when systems fail, they should be changed rather than defended. They are not inherently valuable. And I find that treating all that elaborate structure just like so much putty makes it so much easier to see not only the flaws in it, but also how to fix those flaws. But on the other hand, students are real people, and under no circumstances is a real person less valuable than an abstraction.

But anyway, there came a point when this blessed realisation broke over me; I don't need to put up with any of this. My perspective on the issue, whether it is justified or right or otherwise, is made possible because of my lack of long-term vested interest in the system. It's really liberating, and a bit sad, too, because I find that I can't fundamentally work up any sort of passion for the school as a system. It's a sadness on principle, that I have none of that vaunted "school spirit".

But in principle only. I still have work to do for my kids, and until May 10th, nothing's going to change that priority. Been marking the feature articles from my Sec 2s, and there is a lot of remarkable work there: top-notch structuring, style, humour and even irony, that most elusive of effects. I don't know to what extent my work with them was responsible for this; and I daresay I'm looking at their work through glasses tinted rose by my innate need for reassurance that all my work so far has not been for naught. For that is a fundamental fear, I think, a fear of not being able to make an impression, a fear that fundamentally drives everything from my urge to travel to this obsessive journalling. But that notwithstanding - the work I am marking now is really so surprisingly good that I think I will regret it when the last script is graded.

I think, partly, it is also because most of the features are written in very optimistic, hopeful terms. Reading these articles, you'd think everyone in class was a child prodigy, with solid work ethics, a charming personality, and a bright future ahead of them. Whether or not this is an accurate reflection is beside the point, though of course I sincerely hope so. The thing is the hope, the sincere admiration and respect for each other that comes through their writing, that makes my day, and makes all this effort worthwhile. Frankly, I feel distinctly humbled and privileged to even be part of this exercise, to be on the receiving end of all this real effort.

If only I could post some of the material online, just to show you where all this delight is coming from. But that would be in bad taste. And it would also be illegal. Oh well: its indescribability makes it all the more special. But at least, I hope, one day they will be able to fully appreciate the many ways in which their work is good, and even come to grasp the techniques that will allow them to reproduce on demand such moments of genius.

*

And, of course, as August draws nearer, that helps to put things in perspective too. The Class of 2012 is starting to constitute itself on Facebook, and on the official group there are people going delirious on the Wall. It's thrilling to be a part of this! And as August comes closer, I have to start considering the end of this delicious period of carefree anticipation. A part of me wonders wistfully, if it were possible to stay in this state of suspension forever, this state of looking forward wholeheartedly with no reservations whatsoever. But of course, part of the allure of the anticipation is precisely because it is temporary. And you know what they say will happen to all good things. The best thing to hope for, then, is for the next good thing to come along quick, before the rosy glow from the last one completely flickers and dies out.