Summertalk

It is not very often that you get a completely blue sky around these parts. Water reflects the sky; so maybe, to some extent, through some geological process, the sky reflects the land as well. In other countries, where the land is wide and open, the sky seems also to be vast, clear and pure. In Singapore, where everywhere you turn these days you seem to find congestion and crowd, the sky is also stuffed with the various cumuli and nimbi. So when the sky is clear, and the light is sharp as crystal, it is a moment to marvel at.

I was out the Sunday afternoon I took this picture, having gone into town for a Father's Day lunch, and then popped down to Orchard quickly to have a gander at Somethingood 2008. It has always struck me as amazing, how the Somethingood that we had started back in 2004 had persisted beyond our time. There was a Somethingood in '06, organised by one of the original committee members. Then Somethingood '07 came along, organised by a junior. And now, with this year's incarnation, it really seems as if Somethingood has outgrown the original team; it has gotten a measure of independent life.

This is, of course, gratifying, to have been part of something that has grown up by itself, despite all the difficulties that we initially faced. Nowadays, I daresay Somethingood has a bit of a brand name; an examination of their site reveals an impressive array of sponsors (including Harry's Bar!) and even an "Official Media" slot. But I am still partial to the original Somethingood, that was done with almost no outside support, and which we had to fight for almost every step of the way. Apparently, nothing speaks quite as loudly as a precendent, and for all that Somethingood has become (and some parts have really changed beyond recognition, and - dare I say it? - perhaps go contrary to the original spirit of the event), it is gratifying and humbling to think that it all depended on what we did four years ago.

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Was doing my blogrounds just now, and realised how some of the posts written by my old students sound so sure of themselves. It is a certainty that is born of mastery of the material they have at their disposal, I guess. But it is important to realise that the material they have at their disposal right now is very restricted. Hell, the material I have at my disposal now is not nearly as wide as it could (should?) be. And once you realise that there may be other perspectives and evidence out there that you are simply not aware of, it becomes easier - indeed, necessary - to be more charitable and accommodating in one's opinions. An answer is only "definitive" from a set viewpoint. Change that viewpoint and you see the holes in the argument.

If the original resilience was still around, I'd probably be totally blown away by how much their writing style resembles my old jottings. And it does seem to be a trend that those with stronger linguistic capabilities tend to prescribe more than they describe; they try harder to establish arbitary patterns between their experiences, rather than just to record those experiences. But now that the original journal has been lost to the anonymous binary world of corrupt data, I find that what I miss most are the descriptions of life back then, rather than my analyses of the descriptions. For the patterns that you discerned in the past, the patterns that seemed so definitive, turn out to seem superfluous and shallow today. What you find yourself needing, then, are the facts, rather than the intellectual embellishments that you had constructed around them.

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So, anyway. I want to record down the rest of the weekend, before more things happen and I run out of time to do so. On Sunday night, went out for dinner with an old friend. One of my oldest, most cherished friends, who had returned from sunny California for a month's vacation at home. Had a long, long conversation in a quaint stew restaurant in Siglap. It was deeply absorbing, and not least because it had been far too long since we had had the opportunity to talk face-to-face. After a while, I noticed that I was no longer paying attention to what was happening around us; but that was quickly followed by a feeling of delight, that I could be a part of such an engaging conversation that I did not are what was happening beyond our table.

From our little table, then, and through the steam of the bowls of stew and soup in between us, we surveyed the time that had elapsed since our last meeting, and tried to discern how things have worked out to this point. We live in a web of circumstances, and for all the choices we can make, there are many other factors that are outside our capabilities to affect. And how is one to tell whether a choice is decisive, except from hindsight? We look to the past, to try to understand it, in the hopes that such wisdom will give us a rubric with which we can read the patterns that have carried us through the past, to the present, and will continue to carry us into the future. We try to find some hints to make better decisions. But which decisions are more important than others? In the face of this ignorance, we can either treat every decision as critical, or treat every decision as inconsequential. Are these two approaches all that different? After all, maybe the important philosophical decision is to adopt and uphold a common standard to approach life.

Anyway, things work out as they will. I found myself being called upon to listen, and to offer what support I can. The fact of our friendship necessitated that I did as much; the duration of our friendship opened up many more ways for this to be accomplished. So I found myself sharing experiences and viewpoints that I would not consider divulging to other people at all; that I had not even considered divulging to another living soul, until the clear and present need for it appeared over dinner on Sunday. But after all, this is the least I could do. This is what trust entails. And it makes even the opportunity to place oneself at the whims of another seem like a privilege.

Some things change, then - but some things can stay the same, and indeed should stay the same. I have said it before, and I will say it again: I have had extremely good luck when it comes to my friends. And these relationships...for these to change, to degrade...it is unthinkable.

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I am also happy to report that I have been able to narrow down my departure dates! I discovered on Monday morning that I had been accepted into the Columbia Urban Experience. By day, participants volunteer at various NGOs in the city, and by night, they step out onto the streets to enjoy all that New York has to offer. It is a chance to get to know the place and the people - and especially the people. It gives me, a stranger from the other side of the world, a head start before university orientation begins. Hopefully it will give me a chance to set down some social foundations over there, before real undergraduate life begins in earnest.

Happily, too, participating in CUE allows me to arrive one week earlier in New York! So now, I am definitely going to be there on the 17th of August. Am looking to leave on the 16th, but have been spending quite some time checking flight availability, and have run into quite a big snag. I'm settling for Cathay Pacific; hopefully, when URA books the flight, seats are still available. Nevertheless, this is yet another concrete step towards departure. August approaches in earnest now!

Anyway, have been in touch with CUE coordinators on whether I can arrive even earlier, so that I can get flights. It touches me that the leader of the organising committee took the trouble to respond personally to my query, and promised to ask Housing about giving me one extra night of accommodation. If this is the calibre of personalities that I can expect at Columbia (and from what I have seen over the last two years, there is cause to believe that this is so), then I daresay I will be having a lot of fun over there, starting August 17th!

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And as I was writing, the I20 form for US visa application arrived in the mail. Time to arrange for that visa interview! Things are heating up!